Happy Father’s Day to the dude who
- sees no value in social media whatsoever
- like a badass stood up at a family seder and in front of his elders straight up called God a terrorist for slaying innocent Egyptian babies (to their horror and my amusement)
- chased after me and Rachel one day after lunch on our way back to school to take us to a Mets game instead of going back to school in the afternoon on a Tuesday
- played Frank Mills on the piano as if he was playing for a flat out Broadway star, even though I was exactly 3 when I was singing it at the time
- didn’t flinch one night on the way to synagogue when I asked something about how some type of animals reproduced, readily explaining that mammals had either a penis or a vagina, and the penis fit into a vagina and sperm from the penis connected with eggs from the vagina, which created something that grew into a baby version of whatever that mammal was. (I mean, *I* flinched when I heard my damn dad start using the words for private parts and shit, and was like *fingers in ears LALALALALALALALALALALA* but gotta give the man props)
- taught me how to thread a reel-to-reel tape machine so I could entertain myself with musicals he’d recorded while I waited for the rest of the family to wake up on weekend mornings.
- taught me from a young elementary school age to question my perceptions about race
- raised me with freedom, but standards. (“You can marry anyone except a Republican or a Yankees fan”)
- raised me around drag queens. (Douggie: “Girls, now LISTEN. Don’t marry anyone who gives you a ring UNDER 5 carats. Anything under 5 carats is TACKY.” I think I was 4)
- was a great sport about his *ahem* lack of…um…athleticism? 😀
- despite said — shall we say — lightweight? status, readily squared up against two dudes in Baltimore half his age who started harassing me and Rachel like he was Robert fuckin DeNiro
- taught me resilience and how to handle repeated disappointment by raising me a Mets fan
Love you, Dad!
So sweet! Thanks for sharing