Baruch ata Adonai Elohenu, melekh ha’olam, (Blessed art thou, Lord our God, King of the Universe) Who protects innocent bloggers from Internet shaming for mediocre singing, Especially since this one justs want to make people laugh, Like, let’s say, some Jews who’ve not been feeling so great, O Lord, Because of some drek that goes on […]
Does A Trumpy Bear Shit In The Woods?
He tweets foreign policy. He takes counsel from Nazis. He places his wispy, barely-pubescent son-in-law in charge of the Middle East. He lays waste to our entire state department. He fills federal judgeships with Heritage Foundation racist, sexist, Jesus-loving “lawyers” who barely pass the bar exam and have way too many years ahead of them […]
Animal Kingdom
For my son’s 12th birthday, I took him and his older brother to Disneyworld. We spent the first day in Animal Kingdom and Epcot, walking nearly nine miles. My back hurt. So afterwards, in the hotel room, I wanted to do some yoga stretches to work out the kinks. I made the mistake of not […]
What They Say, What I Hear
Dinner and I have a complicated relationship. I’m cool with breakfast. When breakfast comes, I’ve recently slept, gone to the bathroom, washed my face, my teeth are minty fresh and I have not had cause to interact with any humans, yet. I sauté spinach in butter, add eggs and sausage, push the button on the […]
Invocation
As a Jew, I’ve sat through my share of interminable sermons. I’ve endured excruciatingly long bar mitzvah services and naming ceremonies. Having a Catholic husband has also exposed me to long masses and wordy pre-meal prayers. Now, I’m not really the praying type. However, I’m very happy to respect the prayer rituals of those around […]
Quiz Me.
“Who am I, at this stage in my life?” I wondered. I was feeling that middle-aged malaise…dissatisfied, reaching for something but I didn’t quite know what. So I did what any rational, college-educated woman of my stature would do. I took quizzes on Facebook to figure it out. Scary Mommy quizzes, Buzzfeed quizzes, Zimbio quizzes […]